A few months ago I wrote a piece on Medium called Zendaya Doesn’t Need to Show Her Boobies. The point of the essay was to share my satisfaction with the show Euphoria where the male characters are showing their penises in much greater numbers than the female characters are baring their breasts. For women, this is a welcome change — to not be the primary objectified figure for once.
For all of my fifty-three years of life, and most definitely since I grew breasts in adolescence, the focus has been on my chest. This is the case for most women I know. I grew so accustomed to men looking at my chest at some point during daily life that I stopped reacting. What was the point? The constancy of women’s naked breasts in movies and half-naked breasts in other forms of media seemed so engrained that I practically stopped noticing.
But the truth was, and is, that this is a heavy burden for women and though we may seem non-reactive most of the time, we carry that burden inside all of the time.
Then I saw Euphoria and there were so many naked penises. This was the first time I’d seen this kind of rampant, casual display of dicks. And it thrilled me. Not because there were so many ding-dongs, but because I wasn’t seeing breasts. My burden was momentarily lifted. Many women who read my article agreed. I felt supported and affirmed by their comments :
“Bring on the dicks I say. I’m 53 years old and the power imbalance throughout my life has been quite enough!”
“Awesome piece, and it’s something I’ve thought about a lot. Not surprised that the pushback you are getting is from men. Thank you for writing this.”
“It was penises for the sake of penises. For every man that cringed and every even eye judgment of cut color clarity that was passed. This is what it feels like. Gratuitous penis and equal opportunity exploitation is now a thing!”
“So interesting to see the men in the comments a little upset with your argument that this is all fair exposure given the female nudity we’ve been force-fed for so long.”
But the fellas…. They couldn’t just sit quietly and listen. They were ready at the gate to share why my essay wasn’t accurate or correct. Here are just a few snippets from the lengthy responses I got:
“I’ve yet to see a vagina in a mainstream show/movie, which would be more equivalent to seeing a man’s dong.”
Thank you Sir for clarifying for me that breasts and dongs are not “equivalent” but you are completely missing the point. Imagine if you will, growing up as a young girl. The moment you sprout breast buds that grow into fleshy mounds on your chest, you are entering open-season for male gazing. Imagine now that when you go to movies with your friends and family you see these same fleshy mounds casually displayed on the screen. Ask yourself, kind Sir, would you feel a little bit uncomfortable? Exposed? Exploited?
“Zendaya obviously has a no-nudity clause. Unlike that poor blond girl who is gratuitously naked in every episode.”
This was one of my favorites. Duh. The only reason Zendaya isn’t baring her breasts is because of a legal clause her agent made. It has nothing to do with an intention by her (!) or the producers and the directors of the show to not focus on breasts for a change. Clearly a concept this reader couldn’t comprehend.
“But penises and breasts are different. Penises are primary sexual characteristics. Breasts (like beards, chest hair, baldness, etc) are secondary sexual characteristics.”
Well, here, it is so nice to get an anatomy lesson. My sixteen years of formal education are not nearly robust enough for me to understand that breasts are not a primary sexual characteristic. Note here though, Dr. Science, that breasts, unlike beards and baldness, are indeed a sexual characteristic, which is my point!
“Now, I understand the point you are trying to make, but comparing female breasts and males penises is a false equivalence….Nipples and sexual organs are on different levels on a sexual hierarchy. You’re comparing watermelons and bananas.”
Again, thank goodness men are so much smarter than women and can explain the sexual hierarchy to me. I have to point out also here that this reader chose watermelons to represent breasts. Enough said.
What is my point? Men, look beyond your tiny protected world view and imagine what it would feel like if you grew up with images of penises constantly, casually, and sexually thrown around. Imagine. Can you? Probably not. That’s why I had to explain.
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